Toxic parents blame the child for everything.
Posted: Sun Jan 19, 2025 4:15 am
It's not easy being a child of toxic parents, and even less so a child who wants to please their parents. Toxic parents blame the child for everything, even the smallest failure. The child is at fault if they listened to their parents and failed (because they are incompetent and lazy), and it's even more at fault if they did their own thing and failed (because they didn't listen to their parents who know best).
Toxic parents treat their children like objects or pets. They expect them to follow their every move, to do what they are told, to respect and obey them regardless of anything, and to follow the life path they have envisioned without question.
Toxic parents have a need to control their child's entire life.
For toxic parents, “personal space” is an unfamiliar concept. They don’t colombia whatsapp list that a child needs and wants their own peace even when they are small, and especially as they grow. Since they view a child as an object that is there to please them, they don’t understand the need to give the object the healthy space that everyone needs.
Growing up watching American movies, I was led to believe that Americans always knock before entering children's rooms. Some certainly do, but the toxic ones don't, which is how Aunt Becky accidentally walked into the scene (or through the door) in one of my daughter's vlogs that I watched.
“Ah, you are filming!” she declared after bursting into the room and running out even faster. Toxic parents know no boundaries, so a closed door can be opened at any time without knocking, they can call on the phone at any time and regardless of schedule, they can tell their child anything they want, privately and in public, and if they are criticized for this behavior, they react with anger, aggression, insults, or guilt-tripping.
Toxic parents expect their child to appreciate everything done for them.
So are things that should be taken for granted, such as life support, healthcare, clothing, and toys, which are all needs that shouldn't be emphasized and come as part of normal responsibilities once you decide to have a child.
A toxic parent will always emphasize and have a need to emphasize how they have given everything to the child and how they expect the child to give it back, most often in the form of renouncing their own desires and neglecting their own identity in favor of the parent's.
Toxic parents are passive aggressive.
Passive aggression is also aggression that is only socially acceptable. That, however, does not make it any less unpleasant and aggressive. People who, after sighing and saying “I’m fine” or “Everything is okay,” fall silent and no longer want to talk for a while, thus punishing you for your undesirable behavior, are not only passively aggressive, but also toxic.
Toxic parents refuse to let their child grow up.
Even if they are already fully grown. It is clear that for most parents their child is that little baby even decades after birth. That is endearing, sweet and understandable. However, there are parents who do not let their children grow up out of fear or the need to control every aspect of their lives.
Toxic parents do not allow their child independence, they belittle their adult decisions and needs, they demand the same control over their child's life that they had when they were little, and they will not give up until they get what they want. If they don't get it, they become aggressive, offended, or confused about the new situation that they refuse to accept.
flowers-motivation
The fact is that being a parent is not easy. It is not easy to take care of a hamster, let alone a child who must become an individual who successfully functions in life and society. There are many factors that determine how successful the upbringing process will be, and the child's character, his or her abilities, temperament, intelligence and other factors that determine who we are and in which direction we will develop are not negligible.
It's not easy to raise a child without failing in the slightest. It's not easy to find a balance and at the same time give it your all, while keeping a firm (though not too strict) hand so that the child doesn't take advantage of your weakness and turn it to their advantage.
A family is a complex system of interconnected people that operates on a set of unwritten rules that are expected of all members in order for the system to be sustainable and successful. In mature, loving families, these rules benefit all family members and everyone's needs are equally important.
In toxic families, these rules are selfish and serve only the toxic parents, while the child's wants and needs are ignored, making the child an easy target for abuse. Toxic parents are not always and are not necessarily the abusers we read about in the media. Most toxic parents have never even laid a hand on a child.
Toxic parents love their children like any other parent and want the best for them, but in their own twisted way, believing that they know what is best for the child. In an effort to please, children follow these unhealthy rules because they want to please their parents, earn their love, and not disappoint them.
They also don't want to be punished, ignored, or risk being yelled at. They don't want to be the traitors and the only ones in the family who don't follow the rules, even when they know they're not in their best interests. A family without personal freedom is a toxic family, and children who grow up in such a family become prisoners of their parents' moods.
Toxic parents treat their children like objects or pets. They expect them to follow their every move, to do what they are told, to respect and obey them regardless of anything, and to follow the life path they have envisioned without question.
Toxic parents have a need to control their child's entire life.
For toxic parents, “personal space” is an unfamiliar concept. They don’t colombia whatsapp list that a child needs and wants their own peace even when they are small, and especially as they grow. Since they view a child as an object that is there to please them, they don’t understand the need to give the object the healthy space that everyone needs.
Growing up watching American movies, I was led to believe that Americans always knock before entering children's rooms. Some certainly do, but the toxic ones don't, which is how Aunt Becky accidentally walked into the scene (or through the door) in one of my daughter's vlogs that I watched.
“Ah, you are filming!” she declared after bursting into the room and running out even faster. Toxic parents know no boundaries, so a closed door can be opened at any time without knocking, they can call on the phone at any time and regardless of schedule, they can tell their child anything they want, privately and in public, and if they are criticized for this behavior, they react with anger, aggression, insults, or guilt-tripping.
Toxic parents expect their child to appreciate everything done for them.
So are things that should be taken for granted, such as life support, healthcare, clothing, and toys, which are all needs that shouldn't be emphasized and come as part of normal responsibilities once you decide to have a child.
A toxic parent will always emphasize and have a need to emphasize how they have given everything to the child and how they expect the child to give it back, most often in the form of renouncing their own desires and neglecting their own identity in favor of the parent's.
Toxic parents are passive aggressive.
Passive aggression is also aggression that is only socially acceptable. That, however, does not make it any less unpleasant and aggressive. People who, after sighing and saying “I’m fine” or “Everything is okay,” fall silent and no longer want to talk for a while, thus punishing you for your undesirable behavior, are not only passively aggressive, but also toxic.
Toxic parents refuse to let their child grow up.
Even if they are already fully grown. It is clear that for most parents their child is that little baby even decades after birth. That is endearing, sweet and understandable. However, there are parents who do not let their children grow up out of fear or the need to control every aspect of their lives.
Toxic parents do not allow their child independence, they belittle their adult decisions and needs, they demand the same control over their child's life that they had when they were little, and they will not give up until they get what they want. If they don't get it, they become aggressive, offended, or confused about the new situation that they refuse to accept.
flowers-motivation
The fact is that being a parent is not easy. It is not easy to take care of a hamster, let alone a child who must become an individual who successfully functions in life and society. There are many factors that determine how successful the upbringing process will be, and the child's character, his or her abilities, temperament, intelligence and other factors that determine who we are and in which direction we will develop are not negligible.
It's not easy to raise a child without failing in the slightest. It's not easy to find a balance and at the same time give it your all, while keeping a firm (though not too strict) hand so that the child doesn't take advantage of your weakness and turn it to their advantage.
A family is a complex system of interconnected people that operates on a set of unwritten rules that are expected of all members in order for the system to be sustainable and successful. In mature, loving families, these rules benefit all family members and everyone's needs are equally important.
In toxic families, these rules are selfish and serve only the toxic parents, while the child's wants and needs are ignored, making the child an easy target for abuse. Toxic parents are not always and are not necessarily the abusers we read about in the media. Most toxic parents have never even laid a hand on a child.
Toxic parents love their children like any other parent and want the best for them, but in their own twisted way, believing that they know what is best for the child. In an effort to please, children follow these unhealthy rules because they want to please their parents, earn their love, and not disappoint them.
They also don't want to be punished, ignored, or risk being yelled at. They don't want to be the traitors and the only ones in the family who don't follow the rules, even when they know they're not in their best interests. A family without personal freedom is a toxic family, and children who grow up in such a family become prisoners of their parents' moods.